I can't believe that in a few weeks we will have lived in Texas almost 5 months. The twins will be turning 7 and in the next few months I will be the big 30!
I have adjusted here unusually well. I usually tend to kick my feet a little bit when it comes to change. I was ready for a change and the chance to finally be home full time with the boys. I never suspected the months ahead would teach me more gratitude and patience .
If you have noticed I haven't posted fancy pictures of my house inside and out. Honestly because right now to the eye it is ugly and as my Dad has said," it is a shack". I call it our glorified Shack! It is not that I am embarrassed by it, it is more then I could imagine and I love it but I am waiting to fix it up more before I show it off!
When you spend the night in your car and you realize that without this home your family could of possibly been on the streets, it puts things in a whole new perspective. I know that we would never be homeless or go hungry because of the good people in our circle but still it is a reality check.
When we first moved in, I would catch myself saying negative things to myself that were harmful and ungrateful. I thought back when we were almost homeless and I quickly left those negative affirmations to blow in the wind.
These are some of the negative chants:
If only my husband could make more money, maybe me quitting my job was a bad idea, maybe homeschooling is just to far fetched I can't even afford books, we can't pay all the bills on a 1600.00 a month income, this is really hard being home full time with the kids especially without the necessitates of a car, washer & dryer, dishwasher, tv and internet. I would feel angry at Zach sometimes because he made so little. I wasn't even thinking there are so many without a job, even though it might not pay that well at least he has a job!
I thought to myself that this was really selfish of me to think I couldn't make this work, so instead of whining about it, I started to whistle. I know what we are trying to do is hard in this days society. I know staying home full time with my boys and home schooling was the goal we were after and I had to realize it was going to be tough and we had to make a lot of sacrifices.
I read 5 books,wrote a few letters, mapped out the kids homeschooling for the next year and baked a lot off cookies and other goodies, mapped out our garden and all the home projects that we will accomplish. I didn't have all the comfortable necessities of this day and age but I found I had a lot more time!. I was able to enjoy the now and I was able to be thankful for it even knowing times were rough and were gonna get rougher. I am grateful everyday for my family. I have taken a lot of things for granted in my life. I have let negativity sometimes cloud my thoughts and visions. I have been selfish to want and need bigger and better things. I am truly grateful for not having a lot because I've learned to appreciate what I already got. It will always be a work in progress to work on the fruits of the Spirit. I am learning to be even more grateful, patient and kind during these rough seasons but I realized without the rough we would never wear the ruffles:0) I have learned an even deeper meaning of patience and gratitude and I know in the future I will try to not take anything for granted.
The above picture is of one of the 2 tractors that had to dig a new phone line under ground. We learned as 5 work trucks pulled up with two tractors in tow that the job for fixing our phone line was a big deal. Since the roads are not paved here, I guess the lines get cut often. The engineer actually told me our line was getting placed quickly(If you call 3 months quick!) The kids and I enjoyed watching the workers on the tractor digging the line underground. I never had seen a machine in action like this so it was a fun day to say the least!
It took 3 months for our internet to get installed. I was actually doing pretty good because I could still look up and research stuff on our phone. What was hard is Zach missed out on 3 months of work during that duration and we are still playing catch up!
On to the next endeavor was handling some of the wash. For a couple of weeks I did the wash in the bath tub. I now know why pioneer women used wash boards. I would of loved to have one during this time but I made washing work without one. I will tell you though my abs got such a work out, I never want to do it again,lol
I did attempt going to the Laundry mat one day. To make a long story short I had a melt down in the laundry mat.It was 107 degrees outside. I had all three kids and not enough money to pay for $40 worth of Laundry (I hadn't been to a laundry mat in 10 years!). Some nice lady covered the change that I was short and next time I will make sure I don't start a load without knowing more about how to pay. This particular laundry mat was all electronic. You would do the wash and then the cashier at the desk would give you your slip. I didn't think it would cost $3.75 per load to wash and &2.00 to dry. I was paying attention to the kids and was preoccupied so I just threw the loads in and waited. Luckily a nice lady seen me melting down and helped. Of course she looked at me with a little pathetic grin but oh well. I was able to pay and go and I was grateful!
Finally after 2 1/2 months searching for a Washer and Dryer. We found a good deal on craigslist that we could afford!
Yippee!!!!
